Olympics Won't Be In Chicago

– U.S. City Was First City Eliminated From Contention As Europeans Diss Obama, Support Polanski –

The International Olympic Committee didn’t even make the pretense of giving Chicago serious consideration for the Olympics as the city was eliminated in the first round even before Tokyo and it’s bat-shit crazy governor who thinks the world’s going to come to an end after the 2016 Olympics.

The worst part about the committee eliminating Chicago is now we’ll have to hear a bunch of Republicans and talk-radio dudes spin this as some kind of failure on the part of President Obama or a reason to read Sarah Palin’s new book.

The Olympic Committee doesn’t give reasons for elimination of various cities because it’s considered bad form for the committee to complain a particular country didn’t come across with enough hookers or swag.

Plus, the whole point of the Olympics is to watch TV and learn stuff about another country.

The only thing you’d learn by watching the Olympics in Chicago is how to drink beer, eat deep dish pizza and funnel city contracts to your cousin’s construction firm.

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“Maybe we can use the banner to wish for the Cubs in the World Series in 2016…”

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Image: Zuma Press

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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: THEY GO TO RIO!

Hold on to your wallets…The Olympic Committee awarded the 2016 games to Rio.

With bonus Olympic scoring before the song…

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