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"I’m sorry, but I’m not really sorry, because I shouldn’t have to apologize for what I did."
If you were a four year old, your parents would ream you out for trying to weasel out of a straightforward apology.
Apparently, Dave Winer doesn’t have the same reservations about weaseling. The godfather of RSS follows up his revelation that he "decided to apologize to Jason Calacanis for interrupting his speech at Gnomedex" with the following:
"That said, I have a lot of trouble believing…"
and
"However, it could also be a tactic…"
Either apologize and shut up, or don’t apologize. This in-between thing, where you say you’re apologizing, then explain why you were right all along, is best left to the elementary school playground, where it belongs.
(For the record, Winer doesn’t actually apologize, he just says he decided to apologize. Does that count?)
Calacanis’ response (to the original incident), and his acceptance of the "apology".
Tags: apology, apologies, weaseling, etiquette, netiquette, manners, behavior, language, dave winer, jason calacanis, communications, bloggers
Amen! I like Brian’s editing. Say it and then shut up. Put silence around words in the same way you’d put space around an image or copy — that also shows you mean it.
Ryan: Good point. At some point, attention-seeking for its own sake backfires on you. There’s a sub-genre of reality TV shows featuring has-been celebrities jonesing for one last fix of fame. It’s pretty pathetic, but might get them one more store-opening gig at the local Petland…
Geoff, you’re right.
“Jason, I was wrong.”
That’s shorter and even better. ;)
My favourite type of non-apology is the current trend in apologising because someone was offended by what you said or did.
It implies the other person is stupid for being offended and you did nothing wrong, but of course, you are seen to be saying sorry.
What a load of rubbish – and anyone in PR advising a client to make such a non-apology should apologise themselves.
Sorry doesn’t mean anything anymore. When I screw-up (three times a day, minimum. Life as a human) I prefer, ‘I was wrong, and here’s what I’ve done to rectify the situation.’
This what happens when your strategy is gaining attention and not contributing. A contributor to a community would understand that they made an error, where as an attention-seeker would merely seek more attention.
As far as I’m concerned, in PR–unless you mean it, don’t bother because people WILL KNOW.
Typical copywriter. Minimum number of words, maximum impact.
Man, I thought the exact same thing when I read Winer’s post.
Here’s a lesson in both brevity and real apologies, Dave:
“Jason, I’m sorry. I was out of line.”
Done.