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The Main Event
Between bouts Beth Phoenix appears and complains about not having the Women’s Title. We pretend she’s not there and move on to the next interview: Randy Orton. Orton is snarling, Orton is boastful and he’s ready for John Cena. He pulls out his litany of self-promotion. “I’ve taken out the best” blah blah blah, “Age of Orton” blah blah blah “Triple H has a lucky night” blah blah blah. He ends the interview by stating tonight he’ll prove he’s the smartest wrestler in the WWE. We’re thinking a trivia contest, maybe a puzzle.
The cerebral contest doesn’t happen but Orton does have new theme music that paints him as even more brooding and more sensitive. As opposed to Cena who looks determined and ready. Orton predictably begins the match with a headlock but Cena breaks it, livens the match, and unsuccessfully goes for the early pin. Orton does some good counter-wrestling and is ready to stomp. But Cena catches the boot mid-descent(!) and flips Orton over the top rope. The crowd is going wild and we go to commercial.
During that time Orton finishes an impressive double-arm DDT through the ropes and a violent body slam. Cena looks ready to go down and Orton lines up the RKO. But Cena counters perfectly, is now on the offensive, and triumphantly drops a salute off the top rope onto Orton and the Legend Killer responds by skulking off to the outside of the ring.
Oh no.
JBL and William Regal appear. JBL is in a referee costume. I thought they guaranteed “no outside interference” but it looks like JBL, Cena’s Judgment Day opponent, is now the guest referee. It’s two against Cena’s one. He’s pinned and the beating begins but yes, yes, Triple H is coming in to settle the score. Cena and JBL pair off and their fight pours out into the audience, past a guy wearing a silver mask and a gray golf shirt.
We quickly try to forget that image and focus on the ring where Triple H and Orton are exchanging vicious blows while a steel cage descends from the ceiling with steady sureness. Sadly, we don’t get to see any bloodied steel cage action. Orton is thrown against the cage which flaps harmlessly in the wind (its bottoms haven’t be secured) and falls out of the ring. Triple H climbs to the top of the cage, imitates Superfly Snuka and jumps 25-feet into the air and onto Orton.
Actually he doesn’t. He just postures, poses, and tries to look mean. The whole thing leaves us with some seriously unfulfilled anticipation and a clear message: buy the Judgment Day PPV. Segment Grade: B
Oh, and the official line of the night by a wide margin: Logan from Portland’s inspired “(Regal’s light turning off) is bad. WCW Thunder bad.”
Part One, The Glorious Return of John Cena
Part Two, The Glorious Return of Jeff Hardy
Part Three, The Glorious Return of the Steel Cage
Photo Source: Newscom.com
