Watchmen Review

Movie: Watchmen * Trailer * Official Site	In Theaters: March 6, 2009
Runtime: 163 minutes	Directed by: Zack Snyder
MPAA Rating: R for strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language	Gecko Rating:

I was especially interested in reviewing "Watchmen" this week, because I knew it was quite the hit with my 14-year-old son’s crowd. What? For one thing, it’s rated R, so I had to check it out for myself. Rest assured, it’s NOT for kids younger than 16. There’s just too much violence, sex, nudity and swearing, even though the consequences of all that violence are a main plot-point of the movie.

The story takes place in 1985 – not the one we remember, but an alternate one where Richard Nixon is still President and the Cold War with the Soviet Union is still raging. The movie opens with a character beaten senseless and thrown through a plate glass window in a high rise, plummeting to his death below. We learn that this is Edward Blake, a.k.a. “the Comedian” (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), a retired crime fighter who was part of a group of superhero-type crime fighters (though only one of them has actual super powers).

After the Comedian’s murder, his former crime-fighting colleagues come out of hiding to find the killer. The investigation is led by Walter Kovacs a.k.a. “Rorschach” (Jackie Earle Haley, who speaks in this gravelly Clint Eastwood-type voice), the only one of the group who’s still fighting the fight for justice. He wears this really interesting mask with blobs that move around – you know, like the Rorschach blobs where you’re supposed to figure out what they mean. It’s kind of mesmerizing, because 1) you can’t figure out how the filmmakers did it; and 2) where would Rorschach himself get such an interesting mask?

Rorschach thinks the murderer is working down a list of the ex-crime-fighters, including himself, Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson), Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), and Laurie Jupiter/Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman). The only one of the group with actual superpowers is Jon Osterman/Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), who was the victim of a nuclear accident years earlier. Be forewarned that Dr. Manhattan spends most of the movie naked – as in full-frontal nudity, with all his dangly parts in full view. He’s blue, but he’s still naked.

Ok, here’s my take on this movie, and this is coming from someone who hasn’t read the graphic novels and had no expectations for the movie. If you like these sorts of gritty, edgy movies filled with all sorts of morals about violence, humanity, nuclear war, and vengeance, then you might like “Watchmen.” Still, at 163 minutes, it’s really long – and especially long, given the fact that much of the movie is dark, perilous violence. It’s not a simple good vs. evil storyline. In fact, I’d probably have to see it again to figure out the deeper meanings of the story.

As mentioned, it’s not for kids younger than 16 years old, if that. It’s just too intense, and really, what kid needs to have all of that wandering around in his or her head? Or frankly, what adult, for that matter? That said, the production and direction by Zack Snyder is noteworthy with cool special effects and cinematography that’s both dark and thoughtful. It makes you think, and will probably leave you thinking for a while after the movie is over.

As I understand it, the original intent of the graphic novels was more cerebral, whereas the movie is more action-and-violence-packed. The Rorschach character is my favorite, because his backstory is complex and dark (much of the movie is told via flashbacks). And Jeffrey Dean Morgan has become one of my favorite actors, so seeing him is a joy, even as a bad guy.

NOTES FOR PARENTS:

Sex/ Nudity: A few close-up sex scenes are shown, with a partially nude male and female. One character is a big blue naked guy — the result of a nuclear accident. He’s naked for most of the movie, including full-frontal nudity with penis showing.

Violence/Gore: This movie is all about the violence, because the storyline drills home the consequences of violent behavior. There’s a near rape scene, martial arts fighting, and severe beatings. A character is thrown through a plate glass window, where he falls to his death. One particularly vengeful character pours boiling oil on a person, saws off someone’s arms and electrocutes him, and takes a meat cleaver to a child rapist. A young child’s corpse is eaten by dogs, and the ashes of her remains are shown in a furnace.

Profanity: Language is rampant throughout, including f**k and s**t.

Which Kids Will Like It? Kids 14 and older who’ve read the graphic novels or like superhero movies (but note that it’s too intense for 14-year-olds; I don’t recommend it for anyone younger than 16).

Will Parents Like It? On an adult level, the movie is a complex story that could probably be seen once or twice to figure it all out. But it’s way too intense for kids younger than 16 years old. And at 163 minutes, it’s way too long for anyone but the most ardent fans of the “Watchmen” graphic novels.

Images: Watchmen, © 2009 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved