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Original Air Date: March 25, 2008
When the Woodcocks come over one morning with the little African-American boy they’ve been assigned as Big Sibling volunteers, JOY gets the idea that she and her husband EDDIE might be bad people since they’re not “giving back,” too.
Eddie is initially stumped about this realization, but he eventually signs up to be a Big Brother himself. By that time, however, Joy has changed her mind about volunteer work and has decided she’ll give back to society by making homemade beaded jewelry instead.
So, on Saturday, Eddie goes to the apartment of one KENNETH WESTCHESTER, his supposedly Little Brother, to find “the boy” is actually a 38-year-old, bald, grown man who goes by the nickname K-Chesty.
It turns out Kenny’s mother signed him up for the Big Brother program 25 years go, and although he was never assigned a mentor, his name was still floating around in the system. He and Eddie were matched because they both indicated they like the sitcom Webster.
Kenny jumps at the chance to go rollerskating when Eddie mentions that’s what he had planned for the day. At the rink, the two have a good time, especially when they reveal to each other that they’re both bad at basketball, despite Eddie’s height and Kenny’s blackness.
After the day spent skating and getting acquainted, Eddie breaks the news that he plans to call the organization to let them know Kenny is an adult and doesn’t need a Big Brother. Kenny, of course, is disappointed.
Lucky for him, then, that when Eddie returns home, Joy asks him to bartend at a party she’s giving that Thursday to sell her jewelry to some girlfriends. Completely uninterested in being there for the event, Eddie lies that his Little Brother is in bad shape, so he must spend that night with him … touring a corndog factory.
Kenny is thrilled when Eddie returns to ask if he’d like to hang out again. Eddie even likes his alternative suggestion of getting some potato skins and seeing some naked ladies as opposed to attending a boat show at the convention center.
Afterwards, Eddie returns home to find all of Joy’s girlfriends leaving their house in a huff. They figured out she only invited them over so she could sell them her “crappy jewelry,” and the scheme doesn’t go over well at all.
Joy admits to Eddie that she’s been selfish and stupid while he was out really giving back, which makes him a better person. Eddie agrees he’s better … until Kenny shows up at the door and Joy gets a look at just how non-little her husband’s Little Brother is.
The situation worsens for Eddie when Kenny explains he came over to return the strip club’s fake money that Eddie left in the car. Joy is angry that Eddie managed to dupe her, but Kenny protests that her husband is a good man because he’s been a true big brother to him, like Alec Baldwin is to his little brother Billy.
On Eddie and Kenny’s next outing rollerskating, they’re joined by Jeff and his genuinely young Little Brother. Kenny ruins the trip for Jeff, though, by first insinuating Jeff is racist and then refusing to accept Jeff isn’t gay when he tries to fix Jeff up with his gay black friend. Not even the wedding ring on Jeff’s finger convinces him.
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