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Smallville Episode 8.10 “Bride”
Air Date: November 20, 2008.
This one is more than a little late, folks. I was down sick last weekend and am still digging my way out. And before the haters suggest it, I am not sick of Lois. Sadly, this is the last bit of Smallville action we’ll see until January 15.
Things begin with Lois and Clark filming a video congrats to Jimmy and Chloe. Clark is, of course, thoughtful and sincere. Lois makes one of her dad’s off color jokes about marriage and immediately wants that edited out. Next we cut to the wedding and after the loving couple exchange vows, there’s a loud crash and much chaos. The next thing we see is Chloe leaning over a very badly injured Jimmy asking him not to leave her. Something comes toward Chloe and she screams. Time for a flashback of the last eight hours.
Lois is in charge of the proceedings and is power tripping as usual. She talks to Jimmy about wedding day jitters and he says there are none when you know you’re marrying the right person. I disagree. My wife is perfect and I almost fainted about five times during that wedding. But I digress. Jimmy tries to suggest the inevitable Lois and Clark pairing but she insists that’s a bad idea.
She gets a little sentimental holding Clark’s suit and the camera guy gets the whole thing on tape. She wants that edited out too. At this rate, Lois won’t even appear in the video. And some of our fans will be just hunky dory with that.
Jimmy goes and sees Chloe on the wedding day. He realizes that’s bad luck. Dude, you seriously have no idea. She tells him they’ve weathered federal arrests, amnesia and killer kisses from alien princesses. They’ll weather this. I always wonder why anyone lives in Smallville/Metropolis. But if any of these folks left, they’d just move to Gotham City I imagine.
Jimmy leaves and Chloe gets a call from Davis. She ignores it. Oliver shows up and wedding be damned, he wants to go find Lex. There’s some convoluted plan about a wireless “ghost router” that won’t work without Clark. Ollie thinks Clark is just using the wedding as an excuse to not get Lex. He reminds Clark how important Chloe is and Clark explains that Jor-El mindwiped Chloe’s memories of anything Kryptonian. Clark, don’t you read DC Comics? Mindwipes never work out.
Clark does go and get the router but won’t give it to Ollie until after the wedding. He’s afraid Ollie will kill Lex if he finds him. But one of Ollie’s underlings downloads the material needed during Clark and Ollie’s spat. Oh, you crazy Smallville kids!
Lois talks to Chloe and there’s another call from Davis. Chloe mentions the whole “you’re marrying the wrong man” exchange. Chloe needs something borrowed and goes through Clark’s stuff and finds a piece of Kryptonite. Dude, how about putting that somewhere not just anybody can find it in two seconds? They got the naive part of Clark Kent right for sure. He talks her into wearing a flower from an old school dance, not nearly as lethal. That mindwipe is already paying big dividends there, C.K.
We cut to a warehouse where supposedly Lex is doing his evil thing. Ollie arrows Lex in the head and it turns out to be a mannequin with a note “Sorry I Missed You.” Before Ollie can curse Lex’s name, he gets kicked in the head by – Lana? So she’s a ninja now? OK. After they argue about secrets and such, Ollie talks Lana into going to the wedding. Yeah Ollie, you didn’t want to go to this wedding either before Lex outsmarted you.
At the Kent house, the Boy Who Would Be Superman is befuddled by – cuff links. Wait till Lex finds this out, he’ll cook up some Kryptonite cuff links that Clark won’t be able to escape! Now we get the most random piece of sexual innuendo in TV history as Lois explains the secret of cuff links: “It has to stick up straight so you can slide it right in.” Man, I need to find a pair of cuff links. I don’t remember them being quite so – sexy.
More awkwardness as Clark starts saying sweet nothings and Lois turns around to respond. But he was only reading Jimmy’s wedding vows aloud. Oops. And those calls from Davis? So not romantic. He’s gone killing again and is covered in blood. He’s dumping the evidence but a cop shows up. Davis warns the officer to get away but it’s too late – the bone protrusions come out and it’s killin’ time again.
Chloe and Jimmy do at least get married before all hell breaks loose. Chloe and Clark have a dance and she says recently she feels like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. Clark and Lois have a dance and almost kiss – but Lana’s surprise entrance ruins that. Lois starts downing champagne. Um Lois, didn’t you ruin the engagement party by getting drunk? Just saying. She and Ollie talk about her problems and he’s known she was crushing on Clark for a while now apparently.
Lana gets a cell phone message that asks if “the archer” believes her. Clark comes up to her and they have awkward conversation about her leaving. She’s read about the mysterious savior of Metropolis and she’s proud of Clark. Doomsday crashes the party before Lana and Clark can work through their issues. Clark tries to punch him and gets thrown upstairs, right next to the block of Kryptonite. That’s why that stuff shouldn’t just be laying around, Clark. Lana gets rid of it but Doomsday makes off with Chloe.
Oh, and Jimmy tried for a save, which didn’t go very well. He’ll be flown to Star City where one of the best internal surgeons is. Doomsday takes Chloe back to the Fortress of Solitude where she has Brainiac eyes. Also, we see a bald head with wires plugged into it. Could this be Lex? We’ll have to wait until January to find out.
