Subscribe
Previous Post
Original Air Date: February 27, 2008
NOTE: This series and recap contain very mature themes and language.
TRAVIS JUNIOR attempts to rig mailboxes with precision, French-made paint bombs to deter kids who drive around knocking the boxes down with baseball bats. He promptly drops the first bomb when he picks it up, however, unleashing waves of blue paint directly on his face and upper body — just before someone drives by in a truck and knocks down the mailbox he’s standing beside.
At roll call, LIEUTENANT DANGLE asks for volunteers at a camp for limbless children brought to the United States from landmine-rich Eastern Europe. When there are no takers, Dangle informs the team next that Burger Cousin has been robbed 11 times in the last 16 days.
In response, Dangle’s sending JONES and GARCIA in to work the case undercover. Garcia wants to know if he’ll get a fast-food salary on top of his sheriff’s salary, and the boss tells him no. Why should he? Even WIEGEL didn’t get to keep the money she made when she was working undercover as a prostitute on a previous case and performed two blowjobs.
At the police station, Dangle reprimands KIMBALL when he catches her treating the receptionist CINDY like a sex slave, which Cindy almost became before the Sheriff’s Department rescued her. Later, a major crime sweep sends most of the area’s perps to jail, leaving the town unusually quiet.
The officers give each other lie detector tests to pass the time, and WILLIAMS goes off on JOHNSON when Johnson reveals that Williams admitted her tubes aren’t really tied and she’s trying to trap Jones into marrying her. Within moments of that revelation, Wiegel jumps Dangle when he suggests they play Boggle instead. She remembers how her nose was broken the last time the officers played because, Dangle and Travis Junior claim, she was being a “bitch.” It’s the last word that sets her off.
STUPID CRIMINAL INTERLUDE #1
Wiegel and Williams respond to a call from a man who claims he discovered a head in the trunk of a car. He wants to know what would happen hypothetically if he were responsible for the head getting there.
So, the officers reenact what would happen in slow motion: they’d draw their guns, tell him to freeze, and shoot him numerous times if he didn’t. During the pretense, the guy calls the head by his cousin’s name, Jerome, and Wiegel and Williams immediately arrest him.
STUPID CRIMINAL INTERLUDE #2
Dangle and Travis Junior respond to a call about an angry mob. They arrive on a residential street to find only a man and little boy outside, the adult carrying a torch and the child a rake. The man is concerned about Italians who moved in across the street, and when he makes a comment about pizza with an exaggerated accent, Dangle informs him he’s one step away from a hate crime.
The man then tries to blame the incident on the boy, who he claims woke up that morning talking about Italians ruining the neighborhood. Dangle and Travis Junior, concerned the man is ruining the boy’s future, leave the man on the ground with his hands tied behind his back and take the boy with them to drop off at school. On the way, they allow the boy to drive the patrol car because he has to learn how to drive eventually.
STUPID CRIMINAL INTERLUDE #3
Dangle and Travis Junior respond to a call about some kids blowing up cats. When they arrive at the junkyard, they find a group of teenagers with firecrackers out in the open, which is illegal.
Travis Junior takes a huge cat away from one, and Dangle warns him the animal is already lit. Trying to figure out how to help the cat and get away from it at the same time, Travis Junior drops the animal in a container full of water. The cat explodes inside anyway, spraying guts and liquid all over the cop.
STUPID CRIMINAL INTERLUDE #4
Dangle and Williams report to a house to talk to a transvestite about explicit signs offering various types of sex. The person has been posting them and handing them out at the local farmer’s market, and the kettle corn people, who donate a lot of money to the mayor, are complaining it’s ruining their business.
The transvestite initially claims that being asked to stop circulating the fliers is violating her right to free speech, but Williams manages to get her to agree with their reasoning. Afterwards in the car, Dangle shocks Williams, who has no clue that the person is a transvestite, by revealing that the woman they just spoke with is actually a man who used to go to his high school.
STUPID CRIMINAL INTERLUDE #5
Wiegel and Johnson arrive on the highway, where a couple is getting married before bungee jumping over the rail. Johnson interrupts the planned stunt when she reveals to the bride that she performed at the groom’s recent bachelor party, which she proves by showing the bride a cellphone picture of the groom catching a boiled egg in his mouth. The bride knocks the groom off the rail and unties his cord while he’s still screaming on the way down.
Earlier, Jones and Garcia show up late on their first day undercover at Burger Cousin, and the manager RICK (Guest Star Seth Green) is not pleased. While giving them the basics of their responsibilities, he notes that he expects them to work professionally even though they’re undercover. He then tells them he’s going to the back — an area they’re not allowed in — to masturbate while they begin working.
Later, Jones and Garcia fail miserably during a drill with Rick to see how well they can take customer orders. Neither officer can figure out how to use the cash register properly, and Garcia says an order of chicken nuggets, a corn dog, and a burger is only $1.85.
Jones annoys the manager again when he doesn’t answer the phone professionally enough for his taste. Rick does seem happy with the cop’s hamburger-cooking skills, however, which he compliments with a pat on the butt. The manager then tells Jones he should report inappropriate sexual contact like that to a supervisor immediately, before patting him on the butt again.
The final straw for the cops comes when Rick orders them to clean the bathroom after he suffers a bout of explosive diarrhea from some chili he ate earlier. After Jones and Garcia throw down their hairnets and aprons and walk off the job, Rick brings the real Burger Cousin employees from the back at gunpoint and orders the pair to open the cash register.
RESOURCES
