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Original Air Date: January 21, 2008
LAUREN, now in the last third of her pregnancy, becomes obsessed with her poundage after her most recent weigh-in indicates she’s reached a weight she’s never been before in her life. To help her de-stress and get more rest at night, her husband ANDREW buys her a long and odd U-shaped pregnancy pillow. But, Lauren can’t figure out where the long ends are supposed to go initially. So, the pillow ends up keeping her awake all night, until she kicks Andrew out of the bed while struggling to get it positioned properly.
The next day, Andrew is in the park when DANNY approaches walking a dog, Gus, he claims is a chick magnet that can help him meet women. After failing miserably on that front since the dog refuses to go fetch the Frisbee Danny throws near a group of women nearby, Danny makes a stupid comment about whether Andrew and Lauren’s baby can hear and see what they’re doing when they have sex.
Elsewhere, Lauren and COOPER are out to dinner at a nice restaurant, and Cooper complains that Lauren needs some really passionate sex to get her out of her funk. Lauren objects, clarifying that it’s hard to get in the mood when you have a bowling ball pressing against your pelvic floor. She feels unattractive, but a couple of guys sitting across the room at the bar don’t seem to agree … until she stands up and it becomes obvious that she’s very pregnant.
Cooper decides to take Lauren shopping for some sexy lingerie, which Lauren wears later that night. She and Andrew are both excited, but they still don’t have sex because now Andrew’s concerned that the baby might hear or see them, or that he might poke him or her in the head, to which Lauren replies, “Not even on your best day.” With no sex guaranteed, Lauren complains that she misses the days when other men—her husband doesn’t count because he has to look at her—found her attractive and would whistle at her and buy her drinks.
Later, Andrew and Doug exercise in the park, and Andrew confesses what happened when he and Lauren tried to have sex but didn’t. Danny suggests that Andrew buy Lauren a gift to make up for it, but something that she doesn’t need, not another U-shaped pregnancy pillow type thing. Suddenly, a cute woman walks up to Gus leashed to a nearby bench. Unfortunately for Danny, the tiny animal starts barking ferociously and jumping up and down, urging the woman away.
After noticing how a gaggle of pretty women are swooning over a guy out with a baby in a stroller, Andrew and Danny then go shopping at a swank boutique that Lauren frequents, always hiding the bags at home so Andrew won’t learn how expensive the stuff there is. The saleswoman eventually charms both guys into buying a whole bunch of overpriced shoes.
Meanwhile, Lauren and Cooper meet up for a little exercise, too, and Lauren tells all about the sexless night. Cooper thought the negligee would be a slam dunk because the straps were edible, which Lauren knows since she ate them herself after Andrew fell asleep. [Ha ha! That was a good one!] Lauren admits she doesn’t really like anything about herself except maybe her hair, which has gotten shinier and thicker since the pregnancy, so Cooper decides to fix her up with her hairstylist Franco.
Lauren returns home afterwards, and Andrew immediately notices and compliments her hair before giving her the shoes he bought. When Lauren tries to put them on, however, her feet have grown too big for that size. She at first assumes Andrew got the wrong size. But nope, her tootsies are just larger, like the rest of her. Lauren laments that her feet was all she had left.
At JULIE and ERIC‘s, Julie boxes up some hideous matching sweaters that Eric’s mom made for their baby Perry. Julie intends to donate the clothing to a charity—if any will take them. Eric objects because he insists that his mother will want to see both of them wearing the items she made for them. Eventually, he convinces Julie to deck herself and Perry out in the bright yellow, green, and red sweaters—with matching hats!—his mom made so he can take a few pictures. Afterwards, he promises they’ll never have to put them on again.
Sometime later, Danny visits Julie to “borrow” Perry, and Julie refuses to let him use her baby to pick up skanks, even if he leaves a deposit. Danny counters that Gus’ owner trusts him with the dog. He and Julie then dress Gus up in the hideous sweater and hat outfit, which actually looks kind of cute, before Julie gets a call from Andrew about Lauren being upset after she couldn’t fit the non-refundable shoes he bought from the swank boutique.
Julie rushes over to Lauren and Andrew’s to do damage control. Unwisely, though, she lets Lauren in on a little secret. According to her, pregnant women often don’t reveal to other first-time pregnant women certain things that might make all women refuse to get pregnant again. In this case, when Lauren asked her to reveal everything she needed to know about being pregnant, Julie sort of neglected to mention that there’s a good chance her feet will get bigger and then stay that way forever.
Lauren’s response is to fall off the couch in a faint. When she comes to, she begins purging her closet of thousands of dollars worth of designer shoes, some saved for future occasions and never worn, ultimately revealing that what bothers her most is the possibility that none of the pregnancy changes are temporary and that she might never be herself again.
Andrew, doing his darnedest to be a compassionate husband, tries to assure Lauren that she’ll be her new self instead, which will be great. Lauren still isn’t convinced since she always imagined herself as the woman people wouldn’t believe had a baby. Now they’ll look at her and think it’s no wonder that Andrew is sleeping with the nanny, to which Andrew reflexively replies, “We could never afford a nanny.” [Ha ha! Another good one!]
Five days later, Cooper and Danny arrive at Lauren and Andrew’s after Andrew calls them to give Lauren, who hasn’t left the house in five days, some moral support. Danny brags about the couple of numbers he got from women at the park now that he’s learned dogs in sweaters beat babies in strollers every time. Lauren lazes around on the couch, loading up on junk food and watching home reality shows on TV. Cooper thinks an intervention is in order, but Andrew thinks Lauren needs to go for a walk. He finally kicks both Cooper and Danny out so he can get Lauren ready for him to take her out and show her off because he thinks she’s beautiful. [Awww…]
Over at Eric and Julie’s, Eric informs Julie that his mom was angry enough about the pictures he took and sent to cancel their forthcoming joint cruise. Somehow, a picture of Gus wearing the baby’s hat and sweater got mixed up with the others. Julie pretends to be shocked, but she intentionally inserted the dog’s picture in order to get back at Eric’s mom. Not having to go on a cruise with her is just a bonus.
After Andrew and Lauren go out to dinner and Lauren refuses to believe that Andrew didn’t pay the waiter to flirt with her (he didn’t), the couple decide to get a sonogram so that Lauren can see the “alien” that’s growing inside of her and making her feel so disgusting. Getting a look at the baby for the first time changes everything, of course.
The episode ends next with a silly scene where Andrew and Danny return to the boutique to get a refund for the shoes they bought before, despite the store’s policy of no refunds. The same saleswoman uses the same sales tactic—men are self-involved, so play to their ginormous egos—to get them to buy yet more shoes, but this time in three different sizes. And, the men leave happily as the saleswoman yawns, convinced that they’re the ones who just scored big time.
MY TAKE: Again, Notes just isn’t my thing. I wouldn’t even watch if not for this blog, and that’s a decision I made long before it came to be, after I checked out the first few episodes when the sitcom debuted last year. Also again, I have to admit the show can be funny, but the subject matter simply isn’t compelling enough for me. Watching isn’t torture, but the series isn’t my idea of must-see, appointment, or even memorable TV either.
RESOURCES
1394 days ago
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