Mort Goldman quotes

Peter Griffin: Hey, Mort, let me get a package of condoms. Oh, and I guess I’ll need some Excedrin too because Lois has a headache “this big”. Hah-hah! Did you see? It’s like from the commercial, only I pointed at my junk.
Mort Goldman: All right, Peter. That’ll be $7.22.
Peter Griffin: Oh, jeez, Mort, I didn’t bring any money.
Mort Goldman: Well, I suppose I could just open up a tab…
Peter Griffin: What, you mean I wouldn’t have to pay you?
Mort Goldman: Well, not right away…
Peter Griffin: In that case let me get this stack of Marie Claires, you know, in case I want to rub out the easy one before we start…

Peter Griffin: Hey, Mort, do these suppositories come in any other flavors?
Mort Goldman: Peter! You’re not eating those, are you?
Peter Griffin: [sarcastically] No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course I’m eating them.

Mort Goldman: I don’t like it. And I don’t like the contraction “apostrophe-EM.” As far as I’m concerned, his name is “Dig Them.” You’re not welcome here, Dig Them!
Mayor Adam West: I stand beside my decision, this press conference is over. I can’t see you now, I can’t hear you now, You’re not here now. La la la la la, la la la, la la la la la.