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“Crabcore” band Attack! Attack! was in the middle of their trainwreck song “Catfish Soup” recently in Kansas City, MO, when all of a sudden a tiny blue object of unknown mass was thrown on the stage, hitting guitarist/vocalist Johnny Franck in the hair… causing an emo reaction of near epic proportions. The unknown flying object was forcefully tossed, presumably by a fan, in Franck’s general direction while he was vocalizing something or other. The object allegedly glanced off his face, and flew madly through his perfectly styled hairfro, which for some reason reminded him instantly that he had forgotten to change his tampon.
Johnny then muttered and stalked the stage, looking tearful and possibly regretful about the obscenities that he was about to spew at his horrified amused fans. Good job, Johnny. Metal Martyr salutes douchiness of all types, and you sir, are a bag of douche.
Watch the video below, it’s high quality for your viewing enjoyment.
**EDIT** Unfortunately, this video no longer works. Apparently Rise Records knows that Johnny Franck is a fuckhead too, and decided to have the video of him removed before the world saw him shedding the heartbreaking tears of a true emo on stage. Trust me, it was freakin’ hilarious. I can’t seem to find another copy of it out there, but if anyone comes across the video, let me know. I’ll host the damn thing off my own computer. The best thing about the video was the way you could see Johnny’s face crumble at the exact moment that he realizes his band sucks. Anyway, it looked kind of like this:
**EDIT 9/26** A reader was nice enough to point me towards another copy of the video… so it’s back up.
304 days ago
If by “more successful” you mean “gets all the guys”, then yes, he is inordinately more successful than I am.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond. Kind of gives validity to my sad blog rants. :)
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237 days ago
Okay well i actually like attack attack! but really Johnny? He should have just finished singing the first chorus instead of walking away. And he shouldn’t have gotten so mad at the end. That is why a lot of people don’t like him.
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231 days ago
I think everybody’s right but me. just pretend i’m not here.
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225 days ago
haha this is hilarious. not that johnny got hit in the face with something. that an unsuccessful metal review website run by someone who obviously has a reputation of considerable bad taste in music is angry that a band that he doesnt particularly like is doing well. the only reason you refer to johnny as all of the cute little names you come up with is simply because of one fact. he is successful playing music that people havent heard before. and are currently the second largest band on a very successful label and YOU my friend are jealous because whatever crap metal band you and youe boys “tried to make it” with never got out of the garage. the label pays the band mates more an album than youll make in your sad little internet obsessed life. so rant away my friend on your findings on the internet of whatever bands that you dont like because in all seriousness. no one cares about your opinion about music because everyone has their own.
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