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Original Air Date: April 10, 2008
Of MILFs and Poo
LIZ walks into the writers’ room to find everyone wrapped up in the season finale of reality series MILF Island, which pits hot moms against one another on an island ruled by eighth-grade boys. The series is so dangerous, one MILF died when she drank too much champagne before falling into some quicksand.
KENNETH enters with the newspaper and a problem. Instead of finding the article Liz requested, he found bossman JACK making the Page Six gossip column. Apparently, an employee dished that Jack, who’s up for the GE chairmanship promotion, is a “Class A moron” who can “eat [their] poo.” Ew! Liz just wants the culprit to know she’s not taking the fall for their loose lips.
Money Versus Integrity
In the hallway on her way to Jack’s office, Liz passes by PETE, who soon gets stuck in a vending machine while trying to reach a dangling soy snack without paying. He remains stuck the entire episode and misses the MILF Island season-finale conclusion as a result.
Jack is wrapped up in the MILF Island episode, too. In fact, he wants Liz to meet with one of the MILFs, an aspiring actress named DEBORAH who has demonstrated great promise during the season, in order to helm a spinoff for her.
Liz isn’t interested, of course, become she thinks the series is junk. Jack counters that it reflects the human experience, which is the essence of art. Liz replies that eating bugs to earn tampons is in no way art. Furthermore, despite Jack’s belief that she would be interested in making tons of money through the spinoff, Liz vows she values integrity over a fat paycheck.
Jack waits until then to mention the Page Six story, and he instructs Liz to turn up the heat (literally and figuratively) to see which of the staffers breaks first. Liz tries in her half-hearted way meant not to offend, but the employees have united and give her the finger in unison when she asks the guilty party to raise their hand.
Guilty as Charged
Following that failed attempt to get tough, Kenneth approaches Liz and reveals he saw her make the offending comments to Page Six the day before. She got on an elevator with a man and a cardboard cutout of Wolf from American Gladiators (my favorite), and she didn’t see Kenneth standing behind the cutout.
Angry with Jack and Tracy after finding out about yet another one of their low-brow schemes to rake in money, she complained about her boss to the man, who informed her he was a business gossip reporter for the New York Post. But, Liz was too busy trying to score with him to care.
Stutterfinger
Liz still doesn’t care because she’s determined not to be blamed again after her staff has gotten her in trouble so many times before, even if she is guilty this one time and even if the comment dredges up Jack’s memories of when the school system literally labeled him a Class A Moron because they thought he was stupid when his stuttering actually made him afraid to speak.
Meanwhile, on MILF Island, one of the three remaining contestants is told she hasn’t kept it tight, so the boys no longer want to hit that. She pulls off her bikini top and throws it in the bonfire, leaving just Debra and Deborah in contention for the title of Top MILF.
One Final Shocking Twist
Back at 30 Rockefeller, the entire staff is up in arms trying to figure out who among them gossiped about Jack to a reporter. The cacophony of the arguing gets so loud, Kenneth can’t take it anymore, and he lies to Jack that he spoke to the reporter because he was in the office folding MILF Island t-shirts until 2am, and Jack didn’t even offer him one. Liz says nothing, and she and Deborah both triumph by manipulating and lying.
The only problem is Jack realizes the New York Post goes to press at midnight, which means Kenneth’s story isn’t true. He stops by Liz’s office, where she’s on a high from having gotten over on Jack, and he begins stuttering uncontrollably while talking about the pain of the situation. In response, Liz gets agitated and ultimately confesses.
Payback
Of course, Jack knew all along because he’d overheard her using the word poo in the office before when she got upset. Liz’s punishment is to sign on the dotted line of the agreement to write the spinoff for Deborah, exactly what Jack wanted from the get-go. Brilliant!
RESOURCES
I thought so, too. The twist at the end was very well played.
A new episode of 30 Rock! So nice that the writers are back in business. This eppy was another gem.