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#11: Gym-Cutta in Friday the 13th Part 3: 3-D
Okay, it’s a Friday the 13th flick, which automatically means it deserves the honor of being included in this list. And second: it’s in 3-D. 3-D, man! Can you even grasp how incredibly awesome that is? Yep, eyeballs flying right at you! Could a Friday night get any better?
This overlooked sequel is one of the best in the series for many reasons. It’s iconic; Jason picks up his first hockey mask here. Bet you thought he always had that thing, huh? Nope! Jason is more ‘human’ here than in any other installment. And we all know that humans are a hell of a lot scarier than monsters. Even though the great Kane Hodder isn’t in the role, you can’t forget our favorite machete-wielding maniac: Part 3’s Jason is a rapist/sicko/pervert kind of slasher. Eeek.
This installment also has better developed supporting characters here…you even feel bad for some of them when they get it. (Poor Shelly.) But don’t worry, it’s still fun to watch ‘em die.
Amy Steel was supposed to come back as Ginny, but sadly was unable to reprise the role. (Too bad. Could you imagine that ass in 3-D? If I ever do a “13 Best Asses of Horror’ countdown you know who will be number one.)
So we have a new heroine, Chris, played by Dana Kimmell, a horror-approved ‘good girl’ type you know will be sashaying into the final frame. She turned out to be a fan favorite of the series. I liked her too, until I found out that she insisted the director cut back on the sex and violence for various reasons. Girl needs to mind her own damn business.
So, the plot is, Chris is taking a bunch of friends out to her parents’ isolated country cabin for a weekend of fun. Luckily, the cabin is right by where Jason slaughtered a camp full of people, then faked his death and escaped, then slaughtered some more people. This weekend is looking up already!
The group includes Andy and his pregnant girlfriend, Debbie. Andy’s a pretty decent guy; so he doesn’t know how to rip open a Trojan, but man, can he do a mean handstand! Which brings up to our Kewlest Kill #11.
Andy and Debbie have sex (will these kids never learn?) and Andy leaves to go get a beer. Except walking to the fridge like a regular guy’s no fun; Andy makes the trip by walking on his hands. Cool. But is it kewl? Hell no, but this is: Jason’s lurking nearby and when Andy wobbles by, Jason pulls out his trusty machete, and slice/spurt/slump, Andy’s sliced in half! Awesome.
And just to add a little frosting to the cake, Debbie gets killed right away in a pretty nasty manner. The two halves of Andy just lying there…with the upper half still with that dopey look on its face…kewl. And did I mention THIS MOVIE IS IN 3-D?
It’s okay if you missed it in the theaters; don’t cry. Just rent the video, and follow this link to make your own 3-D glasses! Just be sure to check with your mom or dad before getting out the scissors. Or, kill your mom or dad with the scissors. Then you might get a movie made about you.
It’s a fun project, but if you’re a real lazy-ass mofo, just hold the cellophane up to your eyes. And here’s the payoff: I’m posting the ‘new’ poster for this movie below. It’s not as cool as the original of course, but it’s in …can you guess it? Just put on your glasses and check out this poster for an awesome surprise.
